Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in hawiianpunch69's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, September 29th, 2005
9:06 pm	... I want to die... "Shoot me, please. The blood-spattered collision is nothing compared to the serrated blade plunged into my feeble heart. Allow the blood to leach out of my wound generously like a cascade so that I shall be relieved of this appalling burden sited upon my shoulders. And during the final moments of existence, as I wheeze and struggle for air, let the distinct thud of my near lifeless body’s collapse be the very last whisper that lingers within my ears." - Something I wrote as my mind marinated within the juices of thought... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 27th, 2005
10:58 pm	I'm so angry right now, I don't think I've been this angry in a while. Dude I hate girls, they are such troublemakers... Current Mood: pissed off (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 17th, 2005
8:24 pm	Hmm School has come to a start, classes officially start on Monday the 22nd. And after the first day I must conduct a meeting for Interact seeing as I am President. I must admit I am intimidated at being in a leadership position and all the work that I must painfully endure. I am definitely not the best at math to say the least. Today I was 'priveleged' to present a speech to the junior class, I'm not sure if my speech was influential but I sure hope I gain a majority vote... Alot of my friends are competing against me in the campaign and maybe I'm a little selfish in wanting to stand victorious. I started off feeling that I wouldn't want to campaign that much so I wouldn't offend my friends, but they are getting blinded by the urge to stand victorious and I've been forced to follow their footsteps. I am doing my best to remain modest but it is difficult when the other candidates are not equally modest as you... That is all for now... Chad (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 7th, 2005
12:39 am	Girls make me misreable This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style. This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you. This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that. The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming. Current Mood: uncomfortable (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 30th, 2005
10:48 pm	Sup Picked up the car today!!! yay!!!!! I'm so excited I got to drive it around, it's sooo fun... it's small and maneuverable and very fast... hehehe If anyone wants to race me... LOL JK I'm not a bad kid... lol Chad (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
8:10 pm	Erin... Erin I'm sorry... I'm glad you found someone who made you feel better although, I offered to do this myself despite being the one who hurt you... You rejected me that chance... You are not a horrible, terrible person... I could've told you that, and I've been telling you that throughout our relationship. And I did listen to you and I did try to keep you happy to the best of my abilities. Just because life or in this case boys gives you lemons doesn't mean you should give up on them. What happens everytime you decide to 'give up' ? You find a new one who appears to be better then the rest... Well it's part of human nature, and it's part of life, to date, to break hearts, and to have your own hurt... it's part of growing up and you can't try to take the easy way out... High school drama and bull shit is here to prepare us for the big bad real world... And hey your not fooling yourself, news flash I am different... I informed you immediately after, I was being completely honest, and I was being sincere and wished to help you through your pain despite everything. I still feel like a horrible person, even though you don't believe me and I still care for you... although not as deeply as you may think you do... If that doesn't make me different, then I'm not different... I'm as guilty as the rest... and I deserve to be shunned from society... Look I'm already doing a good job of making myself feel terrible... Erin we went too fast, we dated for what a month? And you think your in love with me... In the future will you look back on this and rememeber it as love? Or a childish infatuation... But what i'm trying to say is that I'm sorry... that love isn't a game ... and that I am truly sorry for hurting you and that I wish I had never have done that... I'm so sorry... Your such a great person and I loved being with you... But look i'm really unstable and my concept of love is greatly distorted, I don't know what I want, who I want, what I need, or what's what anymore... I can't even make up my mind on what I want to eat at a fast food restaraunt let alone love. Why can't you understand that it's not as simple as Do you care or do you not care... Because I do care, but it's not that simple. Okay so there should be physical attraction and a real connection... but how do I, you, and all of us distinguish if it's Lust or Love... What is love anyway? Is it a feeling ... What? Do you understand what I'm saying? This is just a small sample of what goes through my head furiously. Look, I broke you heart, I commited an offense, and it was conduct unbecoming of a gentleman. I'm no longer the sweet and innocent guy I liked to believe I was... I am guilty like the rest... but don't give up on males and don't hate me... In a week you'll probabaly be over this... Whatever... but look I'm sorry for everything... I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry... So i'm a disappointment? I thought I was... great and satisfying while it lasted... Erin... nothing last forevers... don't frown because it's over, smile because it happened... You are amazing and I'll never forget you... never ... stop telling yourself I don't care because I do... and everything's so complicated... But whatever... I'm sorry... Chad Current Mood: confused Current Music: It ends tonight by All American Rejects (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 24th, 2005
10:10 pm	Shoot me... I'm a really bad person ... I made a big mistake and I feel sooo horrible... Erin forgive me... We need to talk more later...to elaborate on the subject... Chad Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: My heart is the worst kind of weapon by Fall Out Boy (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 21st, 2005
1:25 am	FILL IT OUT If you're a girl, title this boyfriend application and if you're a boy then title this girlfriend application. Repost this and see who's eligible to be your special someone. Have fun!! Send it back if you think you could get the job... :) Basics: Name: Age: Location: Height: Weight: Hair (color and style): Eyes: Piercings/tattoos: OTHER: 1. Where would we go on dates? 2. Who are ten of your favorite bands/artists? 3. Do you drink/smoke? 4. Do you like the beach? 5. If so...would you go with me late at night? 6. Do you like movies? 7. If so would you stay up and watch them with me all night? 8. If you were to take me out to a movie would we watch the movie? 9. If not what would we be doing? 10. Do you play an instrument? 11. If so...what? 12. Would you call me right after we saw each other to make sure I made it home alright? 13. How would you rate your hugs from 1-10? 14. Favorite body part on a gurl/guy? 15. What would you say is the best thing about yourself? 16. Do you have any reps (ie: heartbreaker, player, slut)? 17. Would you give me kisses just because? 18. What's your favorite type of music? What Would You do if... I cried: I said I liked you: I kissed you: I wanted to have sex with you: I touched your ass: I was hospitalized: I ran away from home: I got in a fight and you were there: I got dumped: I pissed you off: What Do You Think Of My... Personality: Eyes: Face: Hair: Clothes: Voice: Humor: Choice of music: Manners: Friends: Decisions: Would You... Be my friend: Tell me the truth no matter what: Buy me a birthday gift: Lie to make me feel better: Spread rumors about me: Go out at 4am to get me chocolate: Keep a secret if I told you one: Loan me some cash: Hold my hand: Keep in touch: Make me a snack: Try and solve my problems: Love me: Makeout with me: Hold me in times of need: Ditch me: Use me: ask me out: Date me: Makeout with me whenever you had the chance: Hold me and make my problems go away: W0ULD Y0U... [] go out with me? [] give me your number? [] kiss me? [] let me kiss you? [] watch a movie with me? [] take me out to dinner? [] drive me somewhere [] make love to me? [] take a shower with me? [] be my bf? [] hug me? [] buy me food? [] take me home to meet your parents? [] would you let me sleep in your bed if i didn't have one? [] sing car karaoke w/ me? [] sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone? [] re-post this for me to answer your questions? [] give me a piggyback ride? [] come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere D0 Y0U... [] think im cute? [] want to kiss me? [] want to cuddle wit me? [] want to hook up with me? ARE WE... [] aquintences? [] friends? [] in a relationship? [] gonna have kids? AM i... [] smart? [] cute? [] funny? [] cool? [] intersting to talk to? HAVE Y0U EVER... [] thought about me? [] thought there might be an "us"? [] thought about hookin up with me? [] found yourself wanting to kiss me? [] wished i were there? ARE Y0U... [] happy you know me? [] mad at me? [] thinkin bout me? (Comment on this)
12:46 am	What up Hoi, I got to hang out with my baby Erin yesterday. That was fun :-D, lol rape-a-bear... lol #4!!! =P. I like suprises ;) LoL My sister is doing really good at her new job, i'm proud of her! In the three days that she's worked as a car dealer she's sold four cars... Isn't that grand? Tomorrow she might put in a special order for my car... Ford Focus 4 Door, Powermoonroof, 6CD in Dash AM/FM/MP3, 4 Coaxial Speakers, 8 Inch Subwoofer, Automatic Transmission, 2.0 Liter, Liquid Grey coat, yeah stuff like that... it's going to be off the heazy... as long as I don't wreck it.. >_< Summer's nearing to an end, oh dear... I'm slightly nervous I don't want to go back to school and work... I want to be lazy, play video games, and hold Erin all day :-P Hawaii Pacific University sent me an application, that's pretty sweet. FSU sent me a calendar, the calendar is actually pretty sweet it's not a cheap construction paper thing that was thrown together in like 2 minutes. I still want to go and be an astronaut in outer space but that'll take alot of effort and I'll have to obtain a engineering or science degree... oh boy... Headaches galore here I come ... LoL My birthday is coming soon! August 12, yesss! It's on a Friday so that's pretty sweet... I'll be turning 16 and the following month, September I will be able to test at the DMV for my DRiver's License.. Cross you fingers because I realy want to pass :-(.... I might go paintballing this Saturday, I'm not sure if I will though because I'm running low on cash... I shouldn't have spent all my money at the AF Academy... LOL Hmmm it's getting late... or rather early and I don't know what to rant about so until next time... Chad Current Mood: content Current Music: Ohio is for Lovers by Hawthorne Heights (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 18th, 2005
1:05 am	Hey Erin I'm sorry... Me = Jerk... Yeah i'm broadcasting that for all my friends to see... I'm a jerk and I admit it and I am the biggest loser on the face of the planet but I am sorry and I apologize, even though we made up I still feel bad for making you upset and feeling so... I feel horrible myself and I'll beat myself up about this for a while... How could I make someone whom I cherish so get upset? Someone who I swore to make happy frown... it doesn't make sense and I'm truly sorry... I love you... and i'm sorry for the misunderstandings... Your the best ever and I'd cry if I lost you... truly I would... Love you Erin, Chad Current Mood: worried Current Music: Sugar we're going down by Fall out Boy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, July 15th, 2005
11:36 am	Reunion I'm leaving shortly to see my cousins, I haven't seen them in multiple years. They reside in Oxford, California but are going down to Alabama because one of my cousins is doing some type of Ballet thing. The only problem is that I'll be away from the computer... I'll still have my cell phone though, so that's always a plus. Erin I called you this morning but you had already left for Band, I talked to your mother though. Anyways, I love you and I'll miss you and call me whenever you get the chance. I'll call you too but I'm not sure when your not busy... lol Orientation went well, it was entertaining to say the least. More geeks coming to the school, they'll love it... LoL... I'm sort of looking forward to going back to school, I enjoyed walking the campus again ... It was comforting, all the hilarious memories that I've shared there. But then again I don't want to go back because of the work... GRRR... I'm reading Little Women for my english com class... or research... or whatever... I just want to see the look on my teacher's face when I say I read Little Women over the summer... haha Oh BTW, Erin I had a dream that you won't believe and I've been wanting to tell you about it... I'll give you a hint it's about Grant... hAHAHAHA... ANyways I also borrowed a copy of Great Expectations from the school that I plan on reading later on... Just for you ERin... lol BYE LOVE YOU ERIN CALL ME Chad Current Mood: busy Current Music: Silence (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
11:34 pm	What up Yes, I survived the hurricane alright ... I'm still alive... Erin came over yesterday and we chilled all day, have I told you guys how amazing that girl is? Absolutely fabulous! Orientation for noobies is tomorrow, I have to serve as some sort of tour guide ? Answer questions? What... are they sure i'm the best man for the job? *cough* Erin I love you Chad Current Mood: awake Current Music: Silence (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, July 8th, 2005
10:32 am	Hurricane Season Grr, it's hurricane season again... The family and I have been preparing for it's onslaught, hopefully it doesn't deliver too much damage. Because if it does then my chances of seeing Erin before I leave for Alabama are slimmer. I'll pray for everyone because I don't want anyone to get hurt, especially Erin. LoL, I don't know why but I am worried and I wish I could be with her during the hurricane so I can hold her and then everything would be okay. Well, I hope the power outages don't last for an extended period of time. The only bright side I can see is that I might get to eat my MRE's, I love having excuses to eat them. MRE's rock my socks, they're like a Chad delicacy. LoL! Anyways, Erin I love you... Stay safe... I can't wait to see you again... Chad Current Mood: worried Current Music: When can I see you again (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 7th, 2005
12:05 am	Mi Amor Yay, Erin I love you... you are the best... Our lil talks and bonding is awesome. LoL I don't know what i'd do without you. Haha, driver's ed romance...who would've thought two people would hook up amidst all the chaos? Haha Jocelyn worded it like that for me. Erin I trust you... I love you... and I won't do anything to risk losing you. You are my wonderful everything :-P. September ;) Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
11:05 am	Hehe I spent all day yesterday with Erin, we watched War of the Worlds and chilled. It was a very entertaining day. :-D Hmmm, I just recieved a call from my school they want me to be one of the "tour guides" sort of person for a orientation where I'll answer questions and show them around the school. After that I am driving up to Alabama to see my cousins, Emi one of my cousins is performing in some sort of Ballet Show in Alabama so we decided we'd go see them...I haven't seen my cousins in multiple years afterall (They reside in California.) Hmmmm... I wonder when I'll be able to see Erin again, soon hopefully. I just can't get enough of her smile. Current Mood: calm Current Music: Getting into you by Relient K (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 4th, 2005
11:34 pm	Yay Yay, I got to spend 4th of July with my dearest Erin. It was wonderful and amazing. What's even better is I get to spend time with her tomorrow as well. :-D Erin you're the greatest. I'm glad your parents seem to like me. Current Mood: in love Current Music: Iris by Goo Goo Dolls (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 2nd, 2005
1:24 pm	Fight poverty! - One billion people around the world live on less than ONE dollar a day. - The US Government spends less than ONE percent on overcoming global AIDS and poverty Together as ONE, we can Make Poverty History this July. HELP FIGHT POVERTY!!!!! Sign the letter ! http://www.one.org/AddMyVoice.aspx (Comment on this)
10:50 am	Morning Lovers, Only two more days until I get to visit Erin :-D. Fill this out guys - I ____ Chad. Chad is ____. if I were alone in a room with Chad, I would ____. I think CHad should _____. Chad needs ____. Chad will never ____. I want to _____ Chad. Chad can ____ my _____. When I think about Chad, I ____. Someday Chad will _____. Chad reminds me of _____. Without Chad ____. Memories of Chad are ____. Chad can be ____. ____ is how I describe meeting Chad. Worst thing about Chad is ____. Best thing about Chad is _____. Chad _____. If Chad was a flavor of ice cream she would be _____. Chad is my _____. I wish Chad would _____. Current Mood: high Current Music: Collide by Howie Day (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, July 1st, 2005
7:26 pm	Partay Hmmm Ruthie's Sweet 16 was last night, it wasn't bad. I don't want to be rude (sorry Ruth) but I was bored. There were no kegs or bonfires or anything! What's up with that? lol j/k. Happy B-day Ruth...Nice car eh? Don't get into an accident like Roy. And since others aren't going to say it and just talk about people behind their back, Ruthie everyone thinks you are being fickle with boys and that your rough with the guys that like you...I'm not trying to be mean or an ass (well maybe I am) but no one wants to say it to your face and I don't like people talking about people behind their back. Kaci - about your guy trouble just read the comment I left you... How do you get confused about guys that like you when you have no feelings towards them? Just tell them the truth that you don't like them becuase you like that other dude...it's as simple as that. Sorry guys I just feel like being an ass right now, feel free to criticize me...but in the end you know it's true...it's not like i'm going around making up stuff right? Love ALways, Chad Current Mood: amused (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 30th, 2005
5:31 pm	Grr I have good news and bad news, which would you prefer? good news of course that's why I'll tell you about the bad news first. I failed Driver's Ed exam, grrrrr that means no waiver for me and that I have to pass the DMV Driving Test in September. Grreeeat...lol, Oh well...Man I so could've passed that exam but I screwed up and hit a cone by accident. Oh well, life goes on the fates have decided for me to not pass that exam and for me to endure the DMV test...I need more practice driving anyways... I got to walk with Erin in the rain again, isn't that wonderful? Walking in the rain with someone I love has also been a dream of mine and like Erin put it...dreams really do come true...sometimes more than once. :-D You know you've found someone special, when you can comfortably share a moment of silence together...no talking for a moment just listening to the silence and enjoying each other's company... Ruthie's b-day party is tonight and I'm not 100% positive I have a ride home...I guess I could just crash in Ruthie's yard or something...lol. That is all for now... Chad - Current Mood: loved Current Music: Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional (Comment on this)